I walk this lonely road

So right about now i feel pretty alone in this world, and like yeah, i really feel like the extra piece in my family. and like they always are like judging me and i want to prove them wrong but i just don't feel its worth it cuz either way they're going to think the same of me if i don't do something TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, UTTERLY drastic to change my life and i love my life so I'm not about to change it that much, but since things like these happen i started listening to my "life-story" song Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day.

I feel like at home I'm not welcome by certain people, and that only a few people want me around..that last statement goes for the whole family, people say that they would die, cry, be sad, worry, etc. if i wasn't around, i honestly think that they are just saying that so they don't have to pay for anything  that i may do or whatever may happen to me. I don't mean to say that my family is selfish, but what i mean to say is that i don't feel valued in this family. for example my brothers.

Eric: Plays Piano, Draws, Sings, Good at Video Games, Good at Guitar Hero, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, knows how to keep friends, sensible.

David: Funny, Uncaring of others' thoughts, loves being himself, highly respectful.

Joshua: Plays Guitar, Good at work, can handle the pit bull, not afraid of anything.

then there is me.....

Derek: Sings.....that's it....i fail at life,

but needless to say that there are other people in the family that are much higher valued...a list? okay.

Noah

Ava

Garrett

Ate Cassie

Ate Aarika

Jordan

Allen

Lia

Luke

Rj

Alanna

Chloe

Kayla

Ethan

and basically anyone but me

all I think is that they think i'm only useful for heavy lifting or like moving things. :( 

or like a garbage disposal when they dont want their food anymore... 

There IS another point to this, Its about what i love to do, which my elders don't approve of, in case you didn't know...i LOVE TO WRESTLE, nobody in my home approves of that, not even my own brothers...that's why i feel left out..i see all these people around....always following their dreams of becoming accountants, actors, techies, producers, directors, pastors, missionaries, Marines, Navy, Army, etc.. and my parents approve of those...but i don't wanna be those, i wanna be a professional wrestler...not even joking. i feel restrained down because of that.

I JUST WANT TO FEEL WANTED AROUND....I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING....I APPRECIATE WHAT MY FAMILY DOES BUT......I DON'T FEEL THE CARE ANYMORE...ITS BEEN CUT-OFF......COMPLETELY. 

The Brush Fires at the end of 'o8

Okay so, this is my 2nd blog so Yay Derek! lol, but to be serious the brush fires are getting serious, and like they really are starting to panic many people, especially those who are DANGEROUSLY CLOSE to the FIRE. Well i'd like to ask for your prayers, as many of you know I live in the Walnut/West Covina area, and like There are fires in Yorba Linda, Diamond Bar, Chino Hills, and Several other CA cities. I have friends everywhere in CA and I'm sure you do too, so please pray for my friends and family. Today my uncle jan left for Hawaii, and I wasn't too sure if he'd be able to because the fire was SO bad that the freeways have been closed off from any vehicle even the police, firefighter, and ambulances. yeah, the fires are THAT bad... So i'm asking you as a friend to please pray, and have faith in God that he will keep us safe, keep our friends safe, and most importantly our Families safe. Thanks For Reading, I appreciate it.

First Intro Blog Thingymajiggerr!

haha yay! my first blog type of thingy...
i know this really isnt a blog but like yeah, i only made one so like i'd have new place to vent due to the fact that xanga really got old to me...xDD so read it i'm mostly gonna be putting poetry, or like song lyrics on here so..yeah..laterss!

-Derek