I walk this lonely road

So right about now i feel pretty alone in this world, and like yeah, i really feel like the extra piece in my family. and like they always are like judging me and i want to prove them wrong but i just don't feel its worth it cuz either way they're going to think the same of me if i don't do something TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, UTTERLY drastic to change my life and i love my life so I'm not about to change it that much, but since things like these happen i started listening to my "life-story" song Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day.

I feel like at home I'm not welcome by certain people, and that only a few people want me around..that last statement goes for the whole family, people say that they would die, cry, be sad, worry, etc. if i wasn't around, i honestly think that they are just saying that so they don't have to pay for anything  that i may do or whatever may happen to me. I don't mean to say that my family is selfish, but what i mean to say is that i don't feel valued in this family. for example my brothers.

Eric: Plays Piano, Draws, Sings, Good at Video Games, Good at Guitar Hero, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, knows how to keep friends, sensible.

David: Funny, Uncaring of others' thoughts, loves being himself, highly respectful.

Joshua: Plays Guitar, Good at work, can handle the pit bull, not afraid of anything.

then there is me.....

Derek: Sings.....that's it....i fail at life,

but needless to say that there are other people in the family that are much higher valued...a list? okay.

Noah

Ava

Garrett

Ate Cassie

Ate Aarika

Jordan

Allen

Lia

Luke

Rj

Alanna

Chloe

Kayla

Ethan

and basically anyone but me

all I think is that they think i'm only useful for heavy lifting or like moving things. :( 

or like a garbage disposal when they dont want their food anymore... 

There IS another point to this, Its about what i love to do, which my elders don't approve of, in case you didn't know...i LOVE TO WRESTLE, nobody in my home approves of that, not even my own brothers...that's why i feel left out..i see all these people around....always following their dreams of becoming accountants, actors, techies, producers, directors, pastors, missionaries, Marines, Navy, Army, etc.. and my parents approve of those...but i don't wanna be those, i wanna be a professional wrestler...not even joking. i feel restrained down because of that.

I JUST WANT TO FEEL WANTED AROUND....I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING....I APPRECIATE WHAT MY FAMILY DOES BUT......I DON'T FEEL THE CARE ANYMORE...ITS BEEN CUT-OFF......COMPLETELY.